Winston Smith Here: Watching, Big Brother?

11:02 p.m. Watching Jon Stewart ridiculing the hypocrisy – I forgot to say the latest hypocrisy – of “the Bushies,” as Karl Rove calls them. Which is the firing of US attorneys for not being loyal enough Bushies. And Bush has called a press conference to say that the “Democrats on a fishing expedition” will have a fight on their hands if they try to subpoena the communications of “honorable employees” in order to get to the bottom of the latest scandal. (Those "honorable employees" include Alberto Gonzales and Harriet Miers. Hell, they are "honorable," if you can consider anybody who associates with Bush honorable -- nothing wrong with their honor, I guess. They're just stupid.)

Watching Bush coming out fighting when it is obvious to the world that he is dead wrong, one concludes that the man is an infuriatingly stubborn son of a bitch. He will use every power at his command -- and, God help us, he has more of them than anybody in the world -- to fight to the very, bloody end.

That having been said, I realize that I am skating on thin ice and may get a visit from the Secret Service for this -- and those redoubtable folks have no doubt morphed into the Thought Police a la 1984 in this hideous regime -- but I have imagined a not entirely satirical skit where W experiences "extraordinary rendition" to one of those US-subsidized torture places in undisclosed locations somewhere outside the United States (that spares the USA from being accountable, of course), where they waterboard the Shrub over and over and over and say, "Say it! Say it, you pigheaded son of a bitch! Nuclear! Nuclear! Oh oh, he said it again! Every time you say "nucular" from now on, Junior, you get a shock in the testicles too! Zap him, boys! Raise it to 440 volts the next time!"

You can't even get him to pronounce it "nuclear!" How can you get him to consider the wishes of seventy percent of the people of this nation?

What does it take? A national strike? A Bolshevik revolution? God please -- I am in bad odor with you these days, I know -- but please, PLEASE -- help us. God help us. Bring this man and his regime down before he destroys any more of this world.

Oh well, Adam Sandler has his dog, an adorable big old fat bulldog bitch named Matzo Ball, on Letterman (Dave's off tonight), and she and Adam and Don Cheadle are making the pain a little more bearable. Then Don is followed by Danica Patrick, who I'm praying will win the Indianapolis 500 soon.