P. Diddy Cool Rove Dawg

Some of you, gentle readers, may still be recovering along with me from a severe emetic attack from seeing Karl Rove, in a tux and with an absurd hairdo, busting a move with, among others, White House NBC reporter David Gregory. (We've come a long way from the days of Edward R. Murrow as the gold standard for the press.) The event was a dress-up dinner of White House correspondents. What, they have those things every other week? Jon and Keith have had their way with that pukey event, but I especially enjoyed this Huffington blog by Adam McKay, titled "Patriotic Trash."

I must give you a flavor:

"...And there you have it. Let's face it, the reason these criminals get elected and hold office is because they know how to master the spectacle -- the events that hit you in the repro organs, not the brain. I'm talking war, gayness, affairs, crime... This is the ground that Rove, Bush and Cheney walk on. Because if they were telling us what they want to do -- and have done -- using logic, they would never have gotten elected host of a book club. "As President, I will lead us into war because it gives me more centralized power and lets me give huge payouts to corporations that are headed by all my buddies!! Are you with me?" Smash cut to find he's speaking to an empty auditorium with a janitor played by the late Scatman Crothers sweeping up: Mister, you're crazy...

"So instead they give us the good stuff. And I'm not just talking about Rove break dancing, though that is definitely an example of "good stuff." They also give us Britney with no panties and missing co-eds in Aruba and visions of ethnic gangs wanting to invade our homes. They give us nerdy liberals who can't make a decision and want to quit and leaders who wear cowboy hats and American Idol. This is really, really good shit.

"And if you're asking how Bush and the big money Repubs gave us Britney with no underwear, well just look at who owns all the TV stations: GE, Disney, Viacom. And then watch Fox News when Bush is in the middle of a big scandal and notice how much Anna Nicole Smith coverage there is.

"So here's the idea: We should combine the sensational with the smart and productive. We connect all reform bills and ideas that will actually help the country to sensational tabloid events.

"So if Nancy Pelosi wants to push through a campaign finance bill (which would do tons of good but bores people when you talk about it) then we have her blouse slip down to show a nipple while she's out at Bungalow Eight with Stephen Dorff. Then while she's explaining the accidental "nip slip" (as the tabloids call it) she can casually mention that she had been working hard on the campaign finance reform bill which will take big business out of government and put Americans first. Now I know Nancy Pelosi is a dignified woman but she is also a patriot and I think will let a button pop for her country.

"A recent hard issue to get across is the damage done to the Constitution by the illegal NSA wiretapping without a warrant. People need to be safe, the Repubs say, and the rest of us counter with talk about the rights of individuals and checks and balances and the long term health of our nation. And it's a bore. So here's what we do: We get Joe Biden to date Jennifer Aniston. It's that simple. And maybe after a few weeks he cheats on her with Courtney Cox. Yes, everyone hates him because be broke up a friendship between America's sweetheart and Cox and broke Aniston's heart but remember, Mr. and Mrs. Smith made a fortune after Pitt broke up with Aniston. The idea of bad press at this point is almost quaint..."

Hm, that "quaint." Like the Geneva Conventions, according to a certain Bush pal who happens to be the chief law enforcement officer of this nation -- holds that title -- you know what I mean. He fired eight US attorneys for purely political reasons -- except when grilled, he knew nothing about it, I just serve at the pleasure of the president, who me? Honest, Mommy, I didn't steal the cookies.

This elephant and this pig and this Bush appointee walk into a bar...